Supporting someone who is experiencing family and sexual violence can be frightening, stressful and sometimes frustrating.

If you want to talk to someone about family and sexual violence:

• Wait until they are alone and it is safe to speak.

• Let them know that you are worried about them.

• Ask if they are okay. If appropriate, ask if their children are okay.

• Do not push them to talk, say you are here if they want to talk.

• Do not try to offer counselling.

• Recommend they contact one of the key support services (see below).

If someone tells you about a problem with family and sexual violence your response is very important and can make a real difference.
If the person feels supported by the people around them, they are more likely to seek help. Remember to:

• Tell them you believe them.

• Let them know that it is not their fault.

• Avoid offering counselling. Do not give your own solutions, but recommend they contact one of the key support services
  (see below).

Understand that the decision to access help is theirs and your role is to support them in this process.

Look after yourself first

Helping someone else respond to family and sexual violence can be very stressful. Be sure to look after yourself and talk to someone if you need support or advice.

Act Now

You can talk to a counsellor on the 1-Tok Kaunselin Helpim Lain 7150 8000 or call the Bel isi PNG Case Management Centre (Operated by Femili PNG) by phoning 7055 4401.

A person living with family and sexual violence may show some of the following signs or behaviours:

• Stop seeing friends and family.

• Appearing afraid of, or worried about, pleasing their partner.

• Not coming to work, church or other regular activities.

• Appearing worried, depressed, withdrawn or losing their confidence.

• Saying their partner is jealous or has a bad temper.

• Showing visible signs of physical violence, such as bruises or cuts.

• Saying their partner always phones or texts them when they are apart.

• Not wanting to leave their children with their partner.

• Saying their partner pressures or forces them to do sexual things.

• Saying their partner controls their money.

• Experiencing harassment or stalking after ending a relationship.

Did you know?

A person experiencing family and sexual violence may be ashamed to talk about it. They may be afraid of losing their job.

Act now

If you suspect someone is experiencing family and sexual violence, recommend that they call the 1-Tok Kaunselin Helpim Lain on 7150 8000 visit the Family Support Centre at Port Moresby General hospital or call the Bel isi PNG Case Management Centre (Operated by Femili PNG) on 7055 4401.

Tips for CEOs: How does Bel isi PNG support leaders?

Bel isi PNG helps create an environment where it is safe to raise Family and Sexual Violence issues by:

-       Defining the ways your organisation can assist employees

-       Ensuring information is provided about available services

-       Providing transport options for staff needing to access services

-       Creating an environment that fosters behaviour change

What does Bel isi PNG offers to its subscribers?

An internal response ensuring employees are provided with the relevant information about local services

• Clinical care

• Psychosocial support

• Safe house options

• Comprehensive case management services

• Legal assistance

• Welfare services

• Transport

Make the most out of your partnership with Bel isi PNG

• Communicate widely that your organisation has joined Bel isi PNG Ensure your staff know this issue is important to you as leaders – speak about it often and participate in community events that address violence.

• Ensure you have a FSV policy in place, communicate what this policy entails and what support is available.

• Identify and train workplace contacts.

• Look at your peers and share with your peers – the Bel isi PNG newsletter will help.

• Undertake prevention activates – Bel isi PNG can help.

Ask Bel isi PNG to speak with your staff about all support options and distribute Bel isi PNG toolkit.

Case conferencing is an important part of case management, especially for complex cases. A case conference is when core service providers who are directly involved with a client’s case are called in to meet and discuss challenges and actions to take for the best outcomes of the client.  

In coordination with the National Capital District (NCD) Family and Sexual Violence Action Committee (FSVAC) Secretariat, service providers were invited for a case conference on 18th October 2018 to discuss a sexual abuse case of a child client. All partners directly involved with the case discussed the challenges that each faced, and also discussed the actions that each will take with a timeframe in place.

A follow up meeting provided updates on the recommendations made during the first meeting.  Bel isi PNG will continue to work closely with the NCD FSVAC and partners to ensure positive outcomes for the case.

Your smile melted away my compound fears

Your handshake shivered down my timid miseries

Your hug unleashed all my anxious butterflies

Your kindness squeezed out my lonesome melancholies

Your voice trickled music to my troubled ears

Your words kindled hope for my strayed paths

A time out for my weary running feet

A relieve for my protective shielding hands

A nap for my emotional puffy eyes

A silence for my bereaved estranged voice

A peace for my shattered heart

A therapy for my battered soul

Turned my doubt into mission

Turned my hatred into lesson

Turned my scar into subject

Turned my sorrow into melody

Turned my pain into song

Now I can dance this song

Now I can sing this melody

Now I can write this subject

Now I can teach this lesson

Now I’m on this mission

Bel isi.

Survivor,

Safe House

*A dedication to Bel isi Initiative.

Interview with Craig Jetson, Executive General Manager Cadia and Lihir and GTS of Newcrest Mining Ltd. about the “Trupla Man Trupla Meri” initiative

“A Ribbon of Hope is Rising. It’s Time to Break the Silence, It’s Time to End the Violence” (Lyrics from Newcrest Lihir song “Its Time”)

Lihir Newcrest’ s Trupla Man Trupla Meri was born in 2014, out of the intention to address the ‘disconnection’ between a safe and happy home, and safety and productivity at work. It is based on the premise that safety starts within a person, and if someone is not settled or safe at home, they become a risk to themselves and others at work, especially in a highly technical environment like a mine site. Newcrest’ s 5,500 strong workforce on Lihir have the opportunity to become agents of change and role models. Closing the gap between the work and home environment, TMTM works at empowering victims of violence, while supporting perpetrators and bystanders to become advocates.

What Prompted Newcrest to action?

CJ: When I arrived at Lihir in 2014, getting to know the country, the site, and the hospital managed by Newcrest, I got to see the level of violence present every day, particularly women presenting with horrendous abuse-related injuries.  In parallel to this, becoming acquainted with the operations on site, I was intrigued by unexplained incidents presenting safety issues, caused by distractions, possibly by micro-sleep. We quickly made the connection between the two, and facing the linked impact of violence on business and on personal relationships, thought about ways to resolve both: making the environment safer at work and happier at home.

A few years down the track, what does Trupla Man Trupla Meri look like practically today?

CJ: The program, developed by a committee, includes awareness material on managing relationship tensions to support our efforts at reaching out firstly to our workforce and then further, to the outside communities. Through what we call “constructive conversations”, we have shared hundreds of stories, working through the emotions together. An important aspect is that the program is non-blaming, non-finger-pointing, nondiscriminatory. Indeed, it offers a sanctuary for self-confessed perpetrators to come out, and to work at changing their behavior. The idea is to emphasize prevention, before tensions escalate, before the trauma occurs.

How do you evaluate the success of Trupla Man Trupla Meri?

CJ: We have multiple indicators telling us how the program is growing, and how we keep it on the right track. We have figures of how many staff pass through our program, get a referral, take trainings, or act as advocates.  We also have strong interest from business houses who have heard about us and ask us for advice to replicate the experience inside their organization. Next, our work safety statistics are comparatively excellent, with a relatively low rate of incidents and injuries compared to other sites. And of course, there is the enormous positive feedback from so many people telling us how much the program has changed their life.

What unexpected challenges have you had to work around?

CJ: Significant challenges have been… well, the issue itself, particularly men having to cope with looking at themselves; it is so very challenging, especially when remorse and blame are involved.  Launching the action itself was a challenge … getting a driver to drive a truck painted in pink… (laugh). We had to persevere, we had to break through the initial resistance and mistrust, but we hung on. We really wanted to help people, to help mining.  And we did, we broke through the reluctance barrier, we got through to participation, and we achieved the cooperation we wanted to achieve.

What advice would you give to an organisation that would like to step in and do something like Trupla Man Trupla Meri?

CJ: You will need lots of courage, you need to be brave to take on the problem, and you need to have conviction. You get close to staff who come in injured, or who resign because of pressure. You have to understand what influence you can have, what you are trying to achieve, and what the limits are. You want to stop people getting hurt at work because, say, they are distracted by the events of their two weeks in the village. You have to be prepared to check the root cause of the issues at work.

What would you like Trupla Man Trupla Meri to look like 10 years from now?

CJ: Well, the foremost want is for the program to keep people from harm, to bring down the violence, and to more widely share tools to prevent it. But also, Newcrest would like to leave a business legacy, an industry legacy. We would like to show that Newcrest is really a world-class leader, caring, responsible, identifying what needs to be resolved, and involving the staff in finding solutions. Four years into the journey, an initiative such as Trupla Man Trupla Meri is a business and a moral imperative. We are witnessing a massive culture shift, and we are part of it.  

Port Moresby, NCD, PAPUA NEW GUINEA

Nearly two thousand people marched in peace and solidarity to mark the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (EVAW). Governor Powes Parkop led the walkers through the city with the chant, “Strongpla man respectim meri”.

This year’s walk attracted the largest numbers ever with corporate partners and leaders, the public sector, the Brisbane Broncos Rugby League Club, the Internal Inland Revenue Commission (IRC), the PNG Orchids Women’s Rugby League team and Governor Powes Parkop’s NCDC walkers joining the effort to raise awareness about the need to address family and sexual violence (FSV).

Community leaders called for action including Kathy Kiage who told the crowd, “I am here today because I am passionate about change in Papua New Guinea and in our community. I will promote an end to gender-based violence by working with women and girls to find solutions to their violent situations.”

Oil Search Foundation with Bel isi PNG, a public private partnership to address FSV, organised the walk. Bel isi PNG offers case management, safe house and counselling assistance to women and their children. Staff from companies that subscribe to the initiative can access a full suite of services and their leaders can find professional support to drive behaviour change in their companies and communities.

Studies reveal that three out of four women in PNG will experience violence in their lifetime. The large number of people participating in today’s walk shows the community commitment to changing attitudes towards women and girls.

It is well recognised that FSV also is a cost to business. One company surveyed lost an estimated K3million in one year due to the impact of FSV and 68% of employees surveyed had experienced family violence.

Peter Botten, Managing Director of Oil Search is a strong supporter of the Bel isi initiative, “At Oil Search we have a domestic violence procedure and subscribe to Bel isi PNG. This combination of support is designed to assist our staff and is the right thing to do as human beings.”

Bel isi PNG is supported by the Australian Government in partnership with the Government of Papua New Guinea as part of the Pacific Women Shaping Pacific Development program. The initiative would not have been possible without the founding support of Bank South Pacific, Steamships, Oil Search and many other partners.

Port Moresby, NCD, PAPUA NEW GUINEA

By Amanda Anderson

Fourteen men gathered one afternoon to talk about a problem close to their hearts and discuss solutions to a shared challenge. These men were a diverse group, representing businessmen and public servants, community leaders, sports stars and young men just starting their careers. They participated openly as equals, coming together as fathers, sons, brothers, community members, neighbours and employers all seeking a safe home, community and nation for women and girls.

Every man at the table had a story to tell. Most had suffered or witnessed violence as a child and understood the fear, pain and injury this can cause. Each man, in his own way has rejected gender-based violence as the “normal” way of life and made a conscious decision to ensure the strength and value of all Papua New Guinean women is nurtured with love and respect.

Internal Revenue Commissioner Alois Daton shared with the group that he is a male champion to end violence because the only solution to this problem is for men to work with men. As both a leader and an active advocate he stood proudly in his Internal Revenue Commission uniform which read “Treat Her Right” while pointing out the female version reads “I Am Equal”.

Male champion Eddie Aila noted that too often men lack the confidence to accept responsibility for their actions. He recounted the moment when he realised he had the power within himself to end his own violent behaviour and accept responsibility for his actions. He feels all men can change, and there is an essential role that other men can play to help. He felt so strongly he founded Warrior Culture, a local program which supports men in overcoming violent behaviour and personal challenges charting a path for change.

A small group of confident and passionate young men who work for UN Women’s Sanap Wantaim, Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA) and University of Papua New Guinea (UPNG) were amongst the group. As strong advocates for women and girls they shared insightful stories from work in rural and settlement communities and recounted lessons learned through listening to men. They also spoke enthusiastically of creating a “new normal” for PNG, with the firm belief that working with youth is essential.

One such youth program is the 3R’s or Rights, Respect and Resilience which focusses on behaviour change in youths and respect for oneself and others. This is implemented in secondary schools and is supported by the Australian Government. As Christopher Kageni from Sanap Wantaim quipped, “you must bend the tree while it is young before it grows too strong in its roots”.

Broncos player Corey Parker also attended the forum and encouraged the men by emphasising, “as a sportsman I do not respect men who do not respect women. We all have our part to play and no part is too small”.

Corey Parker visited Port Moresby to join the Elimination of Violence Against Women walk where nearly 2,000 people walked peacefully through the city to express their support. This walk was organised by Oil Search Foundation and Bel isi PNG.

Bel isi PNG is a new public-private partnership to address family and sexual violence thorough not only the provision of essential services for survivors of violence, but also through a platform for the men and women to lead change.

While we often find problems at every corner, problems which may feel like impossible obstacles, these men are focussed on solutions and positive change for their communities. And the brightest news is they are not alone and are looking to encourage and join forces with other male champions and advocates. Are you ready to be part of their journey?

I am pleased to contribute to the inaugural Bel isi PNG newsletter from the perspective of both Oil Search Foundation (OSF) that is key partner as well as a Subscriber. 

Over the years in different locations - Australia, my asples, Alaska USA, and in Papua New Guinea - I have seen firsthand the effects family and sexual violence (FSV) on friends, loved ones and my staff. As a professional, I understand all too well the burden FSV places on the workplace in terms of missed days at work, a lack of performance of staff, and from occupational health and safety concerns. These are the reasons my own organisation, Oil Search, has put in place a Domestic Violence Policy and why OSF has prioritised addressing FSV as part of its core strategy.

There is now a wealth of international, evidenced based research that confirms the links between domestic violence and negative economic development. A more recent study in Port Moresby put a dollar sign against the cost to doing business with one company alone calculating costs of $3 million kina in one year. Business leaders have started looking at these figures and understanding the impact of domestic violence on their bottom line.  

A turning point in bringing individual companies together to address the problem was the donation of a residential compound by Bank of South Pacific to use as a safe house. As conversations on what to do with this generous offer evolved, the idea of galvanising the private sector as a key partner to address domestic violence matured and a public private partnership to address family and sexual violence emerged. Bel isi has risen as a result of cooperation, joints efforts and donations in time, knowledge, in kind and in cash.

It is ultimately partnership that made the initiative possible. Following BSP’s offer, Steamships Trading donated office space now used as a case-management centre. G4S Security is providing 24 hours transport to those requiring it from an unsafe to safe location free of charge, Brian Bell is providing cleaning supplies and furniture, 9-Mile Farm and Stop and Shop [AA1] are donating food and PNG Power is giving free electricity.

Importantly the Australian Government, through their Pacific Women program, has provided a significant grant for the project. This funding is being used to not only support new case management and safe house services, but to improve domestic violence services across Port Moresby. Many of the generous donations we are receiving from the private sector are also being shared. For example, we share food donations with other local safe houses. Our moto is that nobody is left behind.

Improving services for all survivors and supporting the private sector to help their employees address the cost to doing business is one part of Bel isi PNG. But we cannot ignore prevention. This is where leadership is essential. A key element is to work with private sector and other leaders to support them to galvanise change. This approach recognises that the formal employment sector has ‘captured’ within their organisation tens of thousands of employees who can be inspired to change their behaviour and also become champions of change within their own communities. We want to provide the support, tools and platform for leaders to make a difference both individually and collectively.

We are also working closely with the public sector on both prevention and improved services. National Capital District Commission Governor, Powes Parkop has been an enormous support to Bel isi PNG from the start. Since 2007, Governor Parkop has seen Port Moresby and its composite PNG population as the terrain to initiate changes that he wants to see spreading to the rest of the country. His focus on prevention and empowering communities to change complements perfectly the work we are doing through Bel isi PNG.

In the first month of launching Bel isi, I personally have already seen the impact we can and will have as a community. We have helped local safe houses with food and sustainability planning, we have spoken with numerous leaders about their roles in prevention and improved services and held a leadership forum to share international best practice, and we already helping survivors including two women from my own staff.

I was able to help these women immediately when they came to me with terrible problems of violence at home. In both cases they went to the Bel isi PNG case management centre. They were supported to receive much needed medical care. In one case the police were involved and arrested the perpetrator, a rapist. In the second case a protection order was immediately obtained, and our safe house received its first client. They were both immensely thankful for the support and are already back at work.

What I am most proud of is that we are supporting the Papua New Guinean community who is standing up to say Enough is Enough. They are acting in their communities, their churches, their business and homes. They are drawing support from the existing network, and by joining it, creating even greater momentum. Individually we can do our bit but together we can make an incredible and long-lasting difference. Thank you for joining us in this most important initiative.

Stephanie Copus-Campbell,
Executive Director of the Papua New Guinean (PNG) Oil Search Foundation

Bel isi PNG (peaceful PNG) is a public private partnership to address family and sexual violence (FSV) for those living in Port Moresby.

Companies and organisations in Port Moresby that want their employees to benefit from coordinated and structured FSV services can subscribe to Bel isi PNG.

Subscribers gain access to practical solutions including:

- Professionally operated case management services for employees and their immediate family members to assist them in addressing their individual situations.

-Access for female employees and their immediate family members to a secure and professionally operated safe house when required.

-Executive membership to a leadership forum that includes an annual event with internationally recognised guest participants.

-Regular newsletters, education and communication materials on the availability of services to help make FSV prevention and support part of the company culture.

-Induction session for leaders and staff to explain the available services provided by Bel Isi PNG.

How do I obtain more information?

Click here for more.